My Chance to Take Out Ray-Ray

P-p-p-poker face, p-p-poker face.

I have had nightmares about Raymond Domenech ever since Les Bleus crashed out of Euro 2008, but today I found out that I can make my dream come true.

Yes, my dream of taking out the incompetent Ray-Ray is near at hand.

Don’t worry, I’m not talking about anything illegal (well, at least not in the violent felony sense) – despite my desire to cause great harm to Domenech for the mental anguish that he has inflicted upon me, I don’t particularly feel like going to prison.

It seems that online gambling company bwin (sponsor of Real Madrid, AC Milan, Werder Bremen and Juventus at one point or another) is running a poker tournament dubbed “The Ultimate Poker Fight” where players have the opportunity to face the former French national team coach.

The premise is simple: play in the online poker tournament on November 29th, and if you are the player that knocks Domenech out, you win an all-expense paid trip to South Africa (Alannis Morisette thinks that’s an ironic destination choice) which includes: (1) flight from Paris to Jo’burg for 2 people; (2) 7 nights accommodation in 1st-class hotels; and (3) an 8-day tour of the country.

The final 6 players in the online tournament will then face off live in Paris on December 4th, with Ray-Ray also making an appearance at that time. The winner of the live final will then win a luxury trip for 2 to Thailand that includes: (1) flight from Paris to Bangkok for 2; and (2) 7 nights accommodation in 1st-class hotels. Apparently you’re on your own for procuring ladyboys.

Since the tournament is a Freeroll (i.e. it doesn’t involve real money), all that is needed is a bwin account (which doesn’t require any initial funding) to play. Obviously, if I win I might have some difficulty in getting to Paris on short notice for an originating flight to either Jo’burg or Bangkok, but I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. I mean, if you don’t think I’m playing in this thing just for the opportunity to talk trash to Domenech, you just haven’t been paying attention to my posts on UF. If I make the live final and actually meet the man? Let’s just say that it’s a good thing that I’m technically a French citizen – no judge in the country would convict me.

The best part about the tournament? The advertisement is a straight spoof of the Jean-Claude van Damme classic film, “Kickboxer.”