Unprofessional Foul


November 20, 2010

UF After Dark: Wilshere’s Wannabe Wag No Longer Wannabe

Perhaps Wannabe No More

This should go without saying but NSFW warning.

As noted in Backpasses, Arsenal midfielder Jack Wilshere was caught dipping his pen in a different inkwell than he should have been. That wrong inkwell’s name is Jessica Jensen and the kind denizens of the internet have helpfully uploaded numerous photographs of Ms. Jensen in outfits of varying amounts of cloth.

The funniest of them may be the one on the right where she shows off her…um…ambition in life. Looks like she may have to set a new goal.

There are other good photos though. One where she is at a foam party, several where she is in sexy outfits, several in a bubble bath, and even one where she appears to have an appendage she should not. She even plays the guitar. For some reason there are pics of her on the toilet.

Jessica Jensen, UF salutes you.

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The Fan's Attic


  1. Well, at least she’s not a grandma?

  2. BTW, this is why I heart the internet. One minute the nerds of the world are doing things like defending a first-grade nerd girl against stoopid boyz and the next minute they’re posting soft porn of famous people’s mistresses.
    Nevar change, intarwebz, NEVAR!

  3. Signal to Noise

    I realize Wilshere is only 18 and I remember at that age being willing to go with any female with a pulse — but a lap dancer?

  4. Shane

    Meeting place for people who have games on before some derby at 7.45?

  5. Signal to Noise

    (then again, like a relationship one has been in since one was fifteen is ever gonna last — it can, but it’s rare.)

  6. Shane

    @StN: I met my wife for the first time when I was 15. That count?

  7. @S2N: Every (non-gay) man who denies that he’d do her is straight-up lying. I’m calling it. And I’m the one who’s resisted such things before. That said, there actually are some of us in the world who think being in a relationship means something (something including, you know, not fucking other chicks). Thus, it all comes down to this: if you want to fuck around, don’t be in a relationship, you morans.

  8. barefoot and peeing on the sidewalk?

  9. @NYK: And you’d still do her.

  10. Shane

    @pup: We’re almost making the Bama AD look like a clean operation these days. Fearing the dreaded Lack of Institutional Control at the rate we’re going.

  11. Shane

    @pup: She has relations with someone who knows half the France squad; of course he’d do her.

  12. @Shane: I don’t know what you mean.
    /hides cash-filled suitcase

  13. I’m also not sure how good of an idea a giant bag of Wild Berry Skittles and a liter of Pepsi is, seeing as how I haven’t been to sleep yet. Whee.

  14. Shane

    Do you ever actually sleep?

  15. @Anon – yes. But I’m single and she’s legal.

  16. @Shane: From time to time.

  17. Shane

    @NYK: And where’s the fun in that?

  18. @NYK: Like being legal has ever stopped the French before.
    /lookin’ at you, Polanski. And Ribery. And Benzema. And…

  19. That didn’t make sense, but you know what I meant.

  20. Shane

    Are we getting a bootroom today or just congregating around Wilshere’s woman? If that’s the case, I definitely didn’t prepare for this.
    /bargain bin vodka’d

    No, not this chick.

  22. Shane

    @pup: Nothing some Quaaludes and a place ticket out the country can’t solve.

  23. Signal to Noise

    @Anonsters — of course I would. for some reason I expect dudes making millions to have a bit more…discerning taste.

    @Shane — there are exceptions to the rule.

  24. arkie

    who plays a 12 string? honestly

  25. Meigan Jensen

    Guys, I don’t know who you got some of these photos from but some of them arent even viewable to the public on her Facebook. It’s a total invasion of privacy , and yes , while she is totally goofy and takes silly photos like a lot of young girls do, you went out of your way to post some pretty awful ones of her just to make her look bad. She’s a fucking sweetheart and this is just awful to see paraded around to the public. I really hope you take this awful post down..

  26. Melissa Fields

    I spotted atleast 2 pictures that aint even her but her friend Libby, so before your gonna post pictures you should check there actually her.

  27. bob marley

    has anybody realised she webcams on myfreecams.com and reveals EVERYTHING..her name on it is jessyjaybaby. i swear to god.

  28. @BobMarley: she does something at Elite TV too.

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