Unprofessional Foul


December 20, 2010

David Beckham Would Like You All To Know He’s Available

Man With Collar and Microphone, 2010

Winter loans are an amazing thing, especially for MLSers looking to keep their game shape up. It worked wonders for Landon Donovan and his stock, while David Beckham’s not immune to the charms of six months in Italy again.

Hence why he’s telling us all that he’s ready, willing, and able… and still angling to remain relevant with the England national team.

Quoth Becks, who rages against the dying of the light at every possible junction: “I won’t be going back to Milan this time because is not possible to go onto the roster for such a short length of time. But I will be going back somewhere as I want to keep myself fit and keep myself in with a chance of getting called up for England again. To do that, I have to be somewhere so fingers crossed I can sort something out.”

Oh, and he’d love to come back to England, but only for Manchester United.

The gall! The frightening level of hubris!

It must be nice for a player to reach a certain point in time where his skills noticeably plunge to that of a mere mortal, yet has such an amassed brand and cultural cache that he can simply name his club—and not just any club, mind you, because if he’s going to train weekly and sit on the bench every Saturday or Sunday, it can only be with the best.

Is he delusional about England, too? Despite seeing the hungry youths impress in flashes through the fall internationals, and knowing full well the need to blood them in fully before Euro 2012 threatens to dropkick them out at the quarter-finals, he’s still looking for more caps? What, was his eighth swansong not enough?

I get that he’s merely throwing it out there for clubs to mull over, and that all those clubs he might deem worthy of his casual, 45-minutes-a-game presence have a million things to worry themselves with besides the ins and outs of signing The Man That Is Beckham, but even so, the entire thing’s a little absurd. Should Beckham, 35, be in amazing game shape, I daresay there’s a club happy to have him: his current one.

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James T