Dude Looks Like He's Twelve
The Guardian has aggregated its match ratings awarded by it readers, and to this point in the season, American Stuart Holden is the best player in the league.
Suck on that, Samir Nasri while we crown thy good with brotherhood.
Okay, the list is far from scientific (not even sure how that would work) and aggregating game-by-game evaluations, as opposed to looking at the season as a whole, is bound to produce some surprising results but, there is math involved, so we’ll give it enough credence just to make the awesome claim that Stu Holden (who SF Bolton picked up for absolutely nothing last January) is indeed the best player in the Prem. Woot!
The full squad and their cumulative rankings is below.
Richard Kingson (Blackpool) – 7.2/10
Bacary Sagna (Arsenal) – 6.6/10
Rio Ferdinand (Manchester United) – 6.5/10
Nemanja Vidic (Manchester United) – 7.0/10
Leighton Baines (Everton) – 6.8/10
Samir Nasri (Arsenal) – 7.0/10
Stuart Holden (Bolton) – 7.4/10
Luka Modric (Tottenham) 7.0/10
Rafael van der Vaart (Tottenham) – 7.0/10
Johan Elmander (Bolton) – 7.2/10
Andy Carroll (Newcastle) – 7.0/10
We’d like to take this opportunity to point out that this squad has two players from SF Bolton. And zero from Chelsea. Yep, Spartak London posted a Blutarsky. Ha ha. Maybe there is wisdom in crowds.
But you know who is smarter than all of the Guardian readership? Our very own Huh Bob. He knows that Holden can’t possibly be that good and so limited him to only one 86th minute substitute appearance at the World Cup this summer.
Yes, Holden was still coming off the leg breaking from Nigel de Jong; but if Tracksuit’s reason for keeping Charlie Davies off the squad was that he wasn’t fit, then we should be able to infer Bob thought that Holden was fit.
Yet he got all of 4 minute (plus stoppage) against Ingerland. But somehow, six months later is the best player in the EPL at the halfway point. If you need us, we’ll be crying and curled up in a fetal position in the corner.
Did they run this on the same computer that does the FIFA rankings?
No, that’s a Commodore 64. This was done on a Commodore 65.
It’s nice to see Holden in the list of other foreigners taking the game away from the English players.
Awesome! A Scotsman is the best player in the EPL!
/fuck’d
BREAKING TRANSFER NEWS: Quick! Throw Steve Sidwell to Scott Parker United!
@keith: Does that actually count as “breaking” or “news”?
@ Shane Fine: Transfer! Quick! Throw Sidwell to Avram!
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/Houllier’salreadyquickerthanMONinthetransfermarket
That’s better.
@OM: But, you see, the Guardian DID include Rio and New British Flavor of the Month Andy Carroll to show that England hasn’t lost the game completely.
Maybe I just don’t see your point, but isn’t adding game by game aggregations the same as taking the season as a whole?
@ Keith: Is Rio British? It’s so hard to tell, as I always think he’s speaking some East European language when I hear him.
Ryan: In some sense yes, but in another, no.
If going game-by-game, maybe Johan Elmander has good enough scores to have him crack the list. But if I look at the season as a whole, I’d give a higher number to (just as example) Carlos Tevez than to Elmander. Tevez has more goals and has been central to the success City has had thus far (they suck when he’s not there). But for whatever reason, game-by-game Tevez’ individual numbers are less than the sum of its parts.
I completed forgot Steve Sidwell exists.
*completely
@LE: So does Villa anytime he’s on the teamsheet.
I think I’ve commented on this before, but my current gf knows Holden and regularly refers to him as “Stewie.” Should my ego take a hit?
@ebf: Depends. Does she also refer to you as “Stewie” in certain situations?
@Shane: Yes…
Shit.
Him and Andrei Arshavin should start a “We’re professional footballers in our 20s making hundreds of thousands of dollars but still look like we should be in grade school” club.
I guess it should be Euros and not Dollars since they’re playing in Europe…
Pounds since they are in England. They don’t use Euros the Brits.
That reminds me… maybe we should check in on the Pixie’s blog and see if he’s been answering any questions lately.
Cope Del Oro 2011
__
______________Timmay_____________
___Dolo___Goodson__Gooch___Boca__
___????_____Stu___MB4___Pasteles__
______________Deuce______________
__________Jozy___________________
@TFA – BAH. I should know that, seeing as my degree was in Int’l Relations.
@Tno: No DeMerit? And I’d have Holden on the right with Edu in the middle alongside Red Card Waiting to Happen.
@Phil
Holden is the best central midfielder we have, I don’t want to play him out of position. Maybe Deuce on the right and the Stanky leg combo up front now that Davies is looking healthier.
@Phil
What has Demerit been doing for the last few months? Has he been training?
@Tno, if we are lucky then huh Bob will go with a different formation which would let us do this,
Timmay
Dolo- Goodson – Gooch – Bocanegra
Edu – MB4
Deuce – Holden – ABE
Fast Robbie Findley who now plays for Wolves cause he is so fast
@Brian
If only.
*besides the Findley part
@Tno/phil.: Demerit is with Vancouver now. I think he’s effectively retired from international play. Though I wouldn’t mind seeing him.
I still want to see Edgar Castillo back at left back, and move Boca inside so someone who can movie is playing in the middle…and a switch to a 4-2-3-1 cos it fits your talent better. Good thing neither of these things will happen with Huh Bob.
Also, wither Andy Najar? Get him in the GC so Hondorus can’t steal him later…crikey…
@Ryan: So Canada doesn’t count as international then?
New formations and good young players will never happen under HuhBob’s reign.