EPL Boxing Day Liveblog: Aston Villa v. Tottenham Hotspur

Houllier at Rest

My fiancee is stuck at work today, so what kind of third-rate fool would I be if I didn’t take advantage, embed myself firmly in the couch, guzzle leftovers, imbibe at will, and gorge upon a metric ton of soccer?

Today’s late game involves a rather bland Frenchman and an excitable lad from London, managing their sides with varying degrees of success. Villa’s been treading water after the pre-season turmoil of losing Martin O’Neill—not that commenter Keith would ever admit it—while Spurs have been riding Gareth Bale’s sizable peni-skill level to unprecedented European progress and EPL delight.

Spurs have been decent on the road—11 points from a possible 24—while Aston Villa flirt with the relegation zone.

All signs point to an away win, but as Keith would exhort if he were here: PERIL!

STARTING XIs:
Aston Villa (4-4-2): Friedel—Warnock, Collins, Cuellar, Lichaj—Downing, Delph, Hogg, Albrighton—Heskey, Agbonlahor.
Subs: Guzan, Pires, Delfouneso, Petrov, Reo-Coker, Clark, Bannan.

Tottenham (4-4-1-1): Gomes—Hutton, Kaboul, Dawson, Assou-Ekotto—Lennon, Palacios, Modric, Bale—Van der Vaart—Defoe.
Subs: Cudicini, Jenas, Pavlyuchenko, Crouch, Bassong, Kranjcar, Corluka.

Referee: Martin Atkinson (W Yorkshire)

Spurs remain in 5th—but 1 point back from 4th-place Chelsea, who play Arsenal tomorrow—with a win, while Villa would leap from 15th to 8th(!!) with a victory, which just goes to show how utterly average and unpredictable the bulk of EPL teams have been in 2010.

Back in 10 minutes to get this started. I need to see a man about a dog first.

12.25p—It’s a shame Peter Crouch isn’t starting, because that confrontation with Heskey would have been the stuff of legend.

12.28p—The voice of Nick “Penis” Webster is really threatening to curtail my excitement for this one. For some reason, I’m expecting fireworks in the form of goals aplenty.

We’re off! And Nick Webster has been silenced, at least until half-time. Younes Kaboul immediately concedes a foul for getting up in Agbonlahor’s grill a little too excitedly. Chance for Villa to hoof one into the box…

… and almost a goal! Spurs fail to handle the aerial ball, Collins nods it goalward and Michael Dawson celebrates his return to the Spurs XI by nodding it right at Albrighton. Fortunately for the Yiddos, there are enough bodies between the Villa winger and goal to block both his efforts. Villa win a throw-in off the deflection, but Agbonlahor heads wide of goal. Shaky first minute for Spurs.

3 mins: Wilson Palacios is crumpled in a heap clutching his leg, following a zesty interlude by Marc Albrighton. Medics are on, magic spray has been applied, and Palacios is limping off.

4 mins—I think—because FSC hasn’t put a clock up yet: A lovely through-ball finds Defoe in on goal as Lennon flicks it on following Modric’s pass, and though the striker is a shade offside, Friedel does well to rush off his line and block his delicate shot. Lennon’s quick to the rebound but beaten to it. Villa clear.

6 mins: Assou-Ekotto’s chip over the top is too strong for Bale. Goal kick, Villa. If BAE was someone who took his football more seriously than it being just a job, that may have been better.

7 mins: Hogg flies in in a studs-up sort of fashion and catches Rafael van der Vaart’s leg. Should have been a yellow card, I reckon, but Atkinson settles for a quiet, well-gestured word for all to see in the middle of the pitch. Van der Vaart then swings in the free-kick but it’s nodded well over the bar.

9 mins: Hilarity in the Spurs box. Albrighton does well to reach an errant pass and spins a cross in from the right. It takes a huge deflection off Assou-Ekotto, slowing it down enough for Emile “Lord of Languid” Heskey to nip in ahead of the advancing Gomes and get a touch on the ball. Gomes ploughs through Heskey prompting almighty screams for a penalty from the home crowd, but Atkinson rightly waves it off.

A minute later, Bale does well to break inside the Villa box but can’t keep the ball in before whipping in the cross.

11 mins: Lovely play by van der Vaart to spring Defoe loose behind the backline, but he dawdles on his shot, giving Carlos Cuellar enough time to recover and block the shot. Spurs waste the corner.

12 mins: Eric Lichaj wins his first real battle with Gareth Bale, forcing him into an error as he tried to get past. Cherish the moment, Eric.

14 mins: Nice run by Stewart Downing on the left flank, skipping a tackle but then shooting from a narrow angle instead of centering for Agbonlahor.

16 mins: GOAL DISALLOWED! Younes Kaboul volleys it home impressively from 12 yards following Alan Hutton’s cut back at the far post, but the linesman flags that the ball has gone over the touchline before Hutton was able to turn it back infield. Dubious. Looked like it bobbled on the line following Hutton’s touch.

18 mins: Great pass to free Defoe between the center-backs, but the striker’s first touch is poor and allows Lichaj to tidy up.

Down the other end, Agbonlahor’s stonewalled by Gomes twice in a matter of seconds following a lovely link-up by Heskey and Gabby to set the youngster through on goal. Should have done better, Gabby.

20 mins: I think I’ve sussed Gareth Bale. His move on the flank is very samey: fake inside, then scoop it onto the left foot and race down the wing. Lichaj reads him again nicely, spotting the cut back and getting help from Carlos Cuellar to hoof it to safety.

22 mins: It takes three Spurs defenders to quash the advances of tiny, tiny Marc Albrighton.

van der Vaart volleys a mile over following nice work by Lennon down the right and an equally nice square pass for the Dutch midfielder. He yells for a deflection, but ref gives a goal kick.

GOAL—Aston Villa 0, Tottenham Hotspur 1—Rafael van der Vaart, 24
Let us all bow to Luka Modric, as this goal doesn’t happen without his passing range. The Croat plays a delightful crossfield pass to find Alan Hutton in full flight down the right wing, with Stephen Warnock nowhere to be found. The Scot races onto the ball and slides it back across the edge of the six-yard box, where three Villa player swing and miss before it finds van der Vaart for a simple, powerful tap-in past a helpless Brad Friedel. Lovely goal. Villa were helpless there.

26 mins: Lichaj gaffes to let Defoe in, but the full-back recovers nicely to fix his own mistake. He’s played well thus far. Heck, both of them have.

RED CARD—TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR—Jermain Defoe, 27
That’s absolutely baffling. The striker goes in on Collins with the elbow as the pair go up for a high ball, and Atkinson thinks that the elbow was intentional as opposed to the usual tussle and tangle for positioning. Redknapp should be angry about that. Losing his one striker is going to prompt a shift he doesn’t wish to make.

29 mins: Heskey whizzes a header wide following a lovely bit of work by Agbonlahor on the left wing.

31 mins: ATTENTION, SPURS FANS…. you’re about to see Peter Crouch or Roman Pavlyuchenko. Prepare thyselves.

It’s all Villa now as Spurs chase shadows. Reo-Coker swung a lovely pass wide to Lichaj, and his well-balanced cross was met firmly by Gomes coming off his line as Heskey lurked for a near-post header. It wasn’t cleared too far, and Villa knock it around again near goal, culminating in Albrighton flicking it wide of goal.

Panic stations for Spurs as their lineup’s unbalanced. They need a front option beyond van der Vaart, as leaving Rafa isolated to play striker leaves a yawning gap. Plus he’s not a striker. However, removing a central midfielder and dropping vdV back also creates a lack of cohesion in the middle. Yet how do you remove Rafa, one of the best players of the game so far?

33 mins: Bale’s unusually sloppy in bringing down a long pass, the ball dribbling off his foot for a Villa throw. The home side respond by carelessly knocking it around the ball, with Cuellar passing right to Assou-Ekotto who’s then fouled some 30 yards from goal.

Kaboul shoots from the dead ball but Friedel saves following an awkward deflection by Cuellar.

YELLOW CARD—ASTON VILLA—Jonathan Hogg, 35
The young’un goes in late on a Spurs player in a rush to keep the pressure on at Gomes’ end.

37 mins: That’s probably a career highlight for Wilson Palacios. He takes possession deep in his own half from Modric, dinks it past Hogg, and sets off upfield. A quick 1-2 by van der Vaart springs the midfielder free on the edge of the box, but Palacios can’t get his considerable weight behind the shot and it takes a wicked slice wide of goal. He collapses to the turf and takes a quick breather. So close, Wilson. So close.

SUBSTITUTION—ASTON VILLA—Emile Heskey off, Nathan Delfouneso on
A block of cement replaced by a sprinter. Assuming that Emile’s been lumbering on with a slight injury since being clattered by Gomes.

40 mins: Delfouneso shows why he’s the first option off the bench, taking the ball inside the Spurs half and running at Dawson, skipping past him before blasting a shot over the bar with Kaboul closing in. Should have done better; could have even cut past Kaboul to give himself an easier shot. The folly of youth.

43 mins: Dawson does well to slide in and knock it out for a throw-in with Delfouneso clear down the left flank. Great coverage by a wonderful defender (when 100% healthy).

44 mins: Eric Lichaj snuffs out another Gareth Bale move inside the box, doing so with an aplomb and ease beyond his years. Does Bob Bradley know anything about soccer? Seriously though, Bale had room to run and looked to have Lichaj beaten until the ball skidded off his foot in a rather un-Bale fashion, allowing the American to deftly step in and shepherd the ball out safely for a goal kick.

HALF TIME—Aston Villa 0, Tottenham Hotspur 1
A fun, absorbing contest thus far. Sure, the ref got Defoe’s dismissal wrong, but it hasn’t diminished the quality of the game one bit. Can Spurs hold on?

SUBSTITUTION—ASTON VILLA—Jonathan Hogg off, Stiliyan Petrov on
I’m assuming that Houllier’s hand is forced by Hogg’s unflinching ability to flirt with a second yellow card, but there’s no doubt that Petrov’s “cagey vet” status should help Villa make the most of their man-advantage without losing a man of their own in Hogg.

We’re off! Again!

46 mins: Business as usual. Warnock floats a cross in but Dawson flicks it away, then van der Vaart is assaulted by James Collins.

48 mins: Corner for Villa thanks to Albrighton. Petrov had an open header at the near post but his redirect into the six-yard box is cleared. Lichaj floats a beauty to Cuellar at the back post but the center-back’s looping header is caught easily by Gomes on the goal line.

50 mins: Lovely play by Villa. Delph plays in smartly for Downing on the right side, and his angled pass releases Delfouneso in on goal. Gomes smothers the shot from 18 yards well, deflecting it to safety. Nervous!

53 mins: Fabian Delph’s having a quietly brilliant game for Aston Villa.

Think Redknapp needs to use a momentum sub as the Villans are in danger of equalizing. More busy play by Albrighton down the right results in a teasing little cross that Delfouneso does well to volley goalward, but if he’d heard the thunder of large feet behind him—large feet belonging to Villa center-back James Collins—he’d have left it for his defender to slam home. As such, Collins connects with the early evening air and Spurs dodge another proverbial bullet.

YELLOW CARD—ASTON VILLA—Fabian Delph, 55
The young midfielder, who’s been quality so far today, shows his inexperience with a late lunge on van der Vaart near the right touchline. Reckless, really, and unnecessary given the Dutchman’s position. Stay on your feet, Fabian!

58 mins: Downing skates past Hutton and crosses for Cuellar, but the big defender nods wide from inside 10 yards. Must bury that, Carlos. Spurs are on the ropes presently, and I’m rather enjoying it.

62 mins: More pressure from Villa. An endless stream of crosses is broken by Delfouneso, who spins past Dawson on the edge of the box and forces a fine near-post save by Gomes. Cuellar heads over for the millionth time following another wonderful far post cross after the corner.

65 mins: Eric Lichaj and Rafael van der Vaart tussle and scrap for the ball on the left flank, prompting a free kick from Atkinson as van der Vaart goes to ground. Another poor decision by Atkinson, who’s been the refereeing equivalent of sticking your face in a box of used hypodermic needles.

Lichaj’s played well today.

66 mins: Villa break following a poor Spurs corner but Delfouneso and Downing can’t connect.

GOAL—Aston Villa 0, Tottenham Hotspur 2—Rafael van der Vaart, 68
A brace for the Dutchman! With Villa in numbers upfield, Gareth Bale redeems himself for 67 minutes of pap with 60 seconds of niceness. The Welshman breaks down the right, cuts inside two men, holds it at the top of the box before finding Lennon(?) racing into the box. Instead of shooting, the winger cuts it back softly for van der Vaart, and his confident sidefooted finish leaves Friedel flapping at thin air. A textbook counter-attack finish. Lovely stuff.

70 mins: Aston Villa fans deserve better. I think. The fact that Gerard Houllier’s been watching his side play for nearly an hour with a man advantage and conspire to create nothing in the way of meaningful goalscoring opportunities must be troubling to the Villa Park faithful. Downing and Albrighton have been working tirelessly without result.

73 mins: Another Villa corner following Dawson’s treatment of an Albrighton cross. His delivery is cleared, and so’s his second effort. Van der Vaart then concedes a brainless free-kick 25 yards out: with no hope of reaching the high ball, he just takes out the man.

SUBSTITUTION—ASTON VILLA—Robert Pires on, Fabian Delph off
Is it because he’s on a yellow? That has to be it, as Delph’s been great. On comes the 37-year-old ex-Arsenal/Villarreal man in his stead. The crowd isn’t best pleased.

SUBSTITUTION—TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR—Peter Crouch on, Rafael van der Vaart off
Another switch met with indifference. The Dutch brace-scorer exits without the chance for his hat-trick.

76 mins: Fine play all around: Agbonlahor does brilliantly to elude Dawson and crack one goalward from 20 yards, but Gomes does equally well to palm the rasping shot around the post. Gomes does well again to punch clear the resulting corner, getting stepped on in the process, and Eric Lichaj’s shot from beyond the edge of the box is deflected wide.

Meanwhile, Gomes is down and looks to be in agony. Medic’s examining his hand that was stomped on during the post-corner melee. Not good for ‘Arry if Gomes has a broken hand.

78 mins: After some treatment and time allowed by Atkinson, Gomes looks to be ok to continue.

YELLOW CARD—TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR—Alan Hutton, 79
Really, Atkinson? Really? The Scottish full-back goes in hard on Marc Albrighton, but it seemed innocuous enough. Not so for the ref, who interprets Albrighton’s death bed impersonation as meaning the tackle was very foul-like in nature. Soft.

80 mins: James Collins is flagged for offside. Looks like he’s a striker, now? He certainly has the timing down pat. Idiot.

Agbonlahor does his best Bale impersonation, galloping to the touchline and cutting it back into the box where several Villa players whiff on it before it’s volleyed into Michael Dawson’s legs. Oh well.

GOAL—Aston Villa 1, Tottenham Hotspur 2—Marc Albrighton, 82
James Collins as master distraction! The big lummock essays a diving header in front of Gomes, missing completely but succeeding in freezing the keeper, allowing Marc Albrighton’s lovely inswinging cross/shot to nestle in at the back post. Lovely shot, cross… whatever. Inverted wingers, ftw!

84 mins: It’s all getting very exciting and hard to transcribe in a timely fashion. The insertion of James Collins into the frontline has had a magical, chaos-inducing effect, with Dawson and Kaboul not quite sure who to mark and not quite sure when to mark them. Dawson concedes a dubious corner following a leap with Collins, and Gomes does superbly well to beat the masses to the cross in punching it clear. Couple of blocked shots, and plenty of tension.

Now Petrov (I think) has a bit of blood pouring from his face.

YELLOW CARD—ASTON VILLA—Gabriel Agbonlahor, 88
Eh, why not? Atkinson’s making up for a lean Xmas with plenty of cards today. Don’t worry, I’ll show myself out.

Bale steps up to take the free-kick, and bends it over the wall and against the outside of the post. Close!

SUBSTITUTION—TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR—Jermaine Jenas on, Aaron Lennon off
Defense first, chaps. Messrs Downing and Albrighton could use some man-marking.

89 mins: Squeaky bum time as crosses whiz in from all angles. Eric Lichaj whips in a long throw from the left side but it doesn’t clear the first man. Kaboul nods clear the booming cross, and Spurs regroup.

Look at this! ‘Arry Redknapp and Robert Pires square up down the left flanks as Pires and Defoe collide right in front of him. Words are exchanged, none presumably kind in nature. That was rather hilarious.

FOUR ADDED MINUTES REMAINING

90 mins + 1: Yet more panic at the back for Spurs. Must be because Crouch is playing as a fifth defender. Agbonlahor and Gomes battle for a loose ball right in front of net as Spurs fail to clear the cross.

YELLOW CARD—TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR—Luka Modric, 90 mins + 1
He collides late with Petrov. Big whoop.

YELLOW CARD—TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR—Heurelho Gomes, 90 mins + 1
The big Brazilian goalie takes his sweet time with the restart to allow sub Vedran Corluka time to get ready to enter the fray.

SUBSTITUTION—TOTTENHAM HOTSPUR—Luka Modric off, Vedran Corluka on
The Croat took a knock during that caution-inducing challenge a moment ago, and he departs for a bit of rest.

90 mins + 3: Forgot that Eric Lichaj came dangerously close to slotting in at the near post a minute ago, and still Villa pour forward.

FULL TIME: Aston Villa 1, Tottenham Hotspur 2
As hard as Martin Atkinson tried to wreck the game with bad officiating and dubious cards, Spurs earn the better of a hard-fought, highly entertaining one at Villa Park. And Peter Crouch didn’t ruin it at the end, so that’s also something to celebrate.

Redknapp’s lads remain 5th, just one back of Chelsea. Merry Xmas, Spurs fans.

Thanks for following along, folks. Enjoy the remainder of your Boxing Day.