Enough is enough. I'm done.
Everyone here knows I have a physical reaction every time I hear the name “Beckham” (gimme a second), and I get plenty of grief for it. But I’m done. We all should be done. I’ve listened to the gospel of James T, and I agree.
David Beckham needs to be banished from our lives.
Let’s go through the amount of worthless news that has come out just over the past few days — and also look at how these things all seem to spell out “PR blitz” whenever things go a touch wrong.
First, we had the week of discussion about Harry Redknapp wanting to bring in Beckham to Spurs. I’m going to spend the least amount of breath on this one because James T has so eloquently crapped all over it in the podcast.
Next, and this one went a little bit under the radar (at least here at UF), we had PROBLEMS! The Becks to Spurs deal was originally said to be dead because Spurs don’t want to pay all of the $500,000 insurance policy the Galaxy want to let Davey go run about. Let’s think about this a minute…
If I’m a manager in the EPL (Suck it, Barclays) and I’m looking for the spark I need to carry my side through the rough period of the season and help keep my aspiring team up in the top four while prepping for the Champions League knockout phase, why on God’s green Earth would I want a player who requires insurance that costs a half-million bucks?! For two months?!
But wait! Then suddenly it wasn’t insurance. Suddenly it was the fact that Becks would only be able to play for, like, three weeks because he’s committed to starting the MLS season with the Galaxy.
“Hopefully it could still happen. The situation is ongoing,” Redknapp said. “I was led to believe that insurance was a problem, but apparently that’s not the case.”
Riiiiiiiiiight.
So while things are falling apart, suddenly, we get GREAT NEWS!!!!!1!1!! Becks and Posh-bot 4000 are pregnant again. The English media jump into hyper-speed and start discussing how Victoria could have made sure they have a daughter this time. They run stories about how Victoria would dress a daughter if she were lucky enough to have one.
And Victoria admits that sometimes David looks really crap.
Is this timing all a little too coincidental for you? Me too. I think his people are really good at releasing information to distract the English media who, like toddlers, are easily swayed by glittery Dora the Explorer stickers.
Then, after the down news and the up news, look! HE’S NUMBER 77!!!!!111!!@!!
Said ‘Arry: “It’s great to have him here. We worked hard to get him here, hoping that he could come and play. He’s a fit lad, he looks like he’s in great condition, looks like he looks after himself, he’s a model professional so that won’t be a problem.”
Please kill it with fire. Please.
I’m just tired of it. Tired, I tell you. He’s not that good anymore, and it’s sad that the English have to spend so much mental energy obsessing about a washed-up lout (Brett Favre on line 2).
I’m hereby breaking up with Goldenmort. Book it. Put it on the record. If you get Beckham news on UF, it won’t be from me anymore. I don’t give a crap about his haircuts or his wife’s bolt-on boobs or his son being one of People’s sexiest young men. I’m done. I mean it this time. Really.
But if you came to play for United… NO. I have to be strong. I can do this. I just need to find another player who will treat me right as a fan. I need …
First Sven, now you? Damn, where’s the love for Goldenmort?
Can we all imagine if he started acting like Favre with the retirment talk? I feel like the English press would just explode
I don’t know, $500,000 in insurance money works out to 320,000 GBP or so. I hardly think that’s an unreasonable sum to shell out.
“Not really – looks a bit long in the tooth for me”
Classic.
Now, if the insurance policy is worth $500K, that’s not how much either club would be paying. That’s the cost of the coverage, not the premium, right?
There’s no doubt that a key part of Beckham Inc’s profit strategy is to keep his name in the headlines as much as possible. He’s definitely not going to fade off into the sunset after his legs finally give out (see: Maradona, Diego).
I’m not a big fan of Beckham, but I do think the comparisons with BrittFar are a little unfair. He’s never said he wanted to retire has he?
Well, at least you’ve still got Howard Webb.
@OM: No, according to the stories I read, the $500K is the premium to cover his entire salary. Which pretty damn high for two months.
TSE – depends. Are Sp&rs going to merchandise his loan? Cause if so, $500k is nothing.
In his defense, his cleats do look really good with the Spurs kit.
http://www.soccerbible.com/news/general/archive/2011/01/11/david-beckham-trains-with-tottenham.aspx
@Berg: Think about what team you’re talking about. You think Spurs want to pay a dime more than they have to?
/racist
@TSE: Is it really that high though? Especially if he has a positive impact? Is 300,000 pounds worth it if it’s the difference between a Champions League place or a Europa League place? Damn right it is.
@ TSE: Ah, well then, $250K/month premium does seem a bit steep. I completely agree with them not wanting to pay that/doesn’t want Goldenmort at all
@Ryan: That begs the question – does he improve the team at all? Seriously, does he?
Favre also an all time great. Beckham not even close.
@MP: Right. I’d say no, however ‘Arry evidently believes he would. Which is why I think it odd that he would balk at such a relatively paltry sum.
I thought it was £500
From Grand Old Team on twitter, “The Beckhams have only been in England 5 days and already Posh is pregnant. Terry doesn’t mess around does he.” Truer words were never spoken
But he’s not the one going in your face and telling you about his news. The media is. And you’re doing it too. If you’re so sick of him, why bother writing about how you’re sick of him. You clearly need him to be around, or what else would you write about? Its not like you just candidly mentioned you didn’t like hearing about him. You made an entire article that basically copy pastes everything you don’t like reading or hearing about him. I mean, c’mon.
The worse part is when bloggers and media talk about how they are sick of hearing about him, is that he’s still very good. Not at his prime, but he still has a very dangerous cross, which can pretty much makes anytime he gets the ball in the attacking third a scoring opportunity. He won’t be able to finish, but he still produces a high amount of scoring chances.
Don’t underestimate Beckham. Not many teams can say they would be better off not having him.
@Chaz
Here’s the thing: he’s not very good any more. He’s just not. He hasn’t done a thing for any teams beyond an assist every few weeks and a million-dollar smile.
@ Chaz: As a Spurs supporter, I don’t want his Tottenham adventure to go behind training mainly b/c Levy needs to use some of the money that might be spent on a Goldenmort loan and go for a forward. Spurs just loaned out a David on the wing and bringing in another David on the wing just seems surplus to requirements. As Becks injured himself after the 2nd day of training today, think that should settle the matter of this going further.
^supposed to be “beyond training” Oof, early AM
Think that’s a bit harsh on Beckham James, he was starting for AC Milan in the Champions League. Even in a down year for Milan, that’s hardly nothing.
Fine, Ryan, I’ll amend to “slightly more than nothing”. That better?
OH MY GOD HE GOT A BLISTER!
/media circus’d
Kill Him With Fire