Unprofessional Foul


January 22, 2011

Your Freezing Cold Saturday Bootroom

Thank mercy none of these games are in 3-D

Great; my reward for waking up early is the chance to see the Reds screw up a trip to Molyneux. Can’t wait! Watching them under Kenny is a marginal improvement—the players seem to care more when they lose with Dalglish, for one—and there is a new-found purpose to their play, but I can’t help but think it’s all a cruel ruse and that the real Liverpool (2010/11 edition) shall be forever defined by its complete and utter mediocrity, a perfect storm of bad form, injuries, and abysmal play. Still, I love them dearly, like a family pet that’s missing a limb or a album by the Rolling Stones post-Exile on Main Street. I mean, they’re still inherently good, just not as close to that ideal image fixed in your mind.

So there’s a chance to watch Mick McCarthy flirt with the camera while you’re slurping down your Corn Flakes, and then at 10, we get two very different meals in Arsenal-Wigan and United-Brum. Both should result in comprehensive home wins, but both sides have shown a flair for the mundane despite being transcendent most of the year.

We have Franky Scar in the Bundesliga should either EPL game fail to titillate, and at lunchtime, we’ll feast on Villa like we imagine Mancini’s lot might. Darren Bent adds a new thrilling dimension to a turgid attack, but Citeh’s casually lethal attacking against Wolves must be close to sending Ged Houllier back to hospital. Or maybe in the last seven days, Stephen Warnock’s morphed from crap full-back into a left-footed version of Dani Alves. I’m not holding my breath.

If you’re still not satiated, you can always join the mid-afternoon’s Aesthetic Fawn Parade for the tiki-taki Blaugrana, or there’s Banega, Aduriz, and Mata up against Malaga.

And tonight, when you’re blackout drunk, you can challenge yourselves to find Telefutura on the TV so you can see some weird youth-y USMNT knock it around against La Roja of Chile.

And then, you can sleep until the NFL playoffs tomorrow afternoon, because it’s either that or it’s Blackburn/West Brom (sorry, jjf3). We might liveblog later, but I’ve no clue just yet.

Your TV Menu in Full:
7:45am Wolves vs Liverpool, ESPN2, England Premier
9:30am Borussia Dortmund vs Stuttgart, GolTV, Germany
9:30am Bayern Munich vs Kaiserslautern, ESPND, Germany
10:00am Arsenal vs Wigan, Soccer Plus, England Premier
10:00am Manchester U vs Birmingham, FSC, England Premier
12:00pm Sevilla vs Levante, ESPN3.com, Spain La Liga
12:00pm Palermo vs Brescia, ESPN3.com, Italy Serie A
12:30pm Aston Villa vs Manchester City, FSC, England Premier
2:00pm Barcelona vs Racing Santander, GolTV, Spain La Liga
2:45pm AS Roma vs Cagliari, FSC, Italy Serie A
3:00pm Argentina vs Venezuela, ESPN3.com, S.American U20
4:00pm Valencia vs Málaga, GolTV, Spain La Liga
5:10pm Chile vs Uruguay, ESPN3.com, S. American U20 Cup
6:00pm Cruz Azul vs UNAM Pumas, Fox Deportes, Mexico
6:00pm Querétaro vs Morelia, Telefutura, Mexico
6:00pm Monterrey vs Atlante, Telemundo, Mexico
8:00pm Santos Laguna vs Pachuca, Galavision, Mexico
8:00pm Guadalajara vs San Luis, Telemundo, Mexico
10:00pm USA vs Chile, ESPN3.com, Telefutura, Friendly

About the Author

James T



  1. Every time I’ve seen Nile Ranger, I’ve been impressed. Why do people not like him?

  2. pradajames

    @Bill He’s missed a sitter, he “makes poor decisions”, he’s black, he doesnt have a crew cut, he got in trouble as a youth, he’s 19, he’s not Alan Shearer, he’s poor in training…who knows.

  3. Precious Roy

    Steve: Why? They’ve already got Pepe Reina.

  4. @Bill – mostly because he’s black

  5. For those who like to bag on ‘Arry for his disdain for TACTICS!, I’d like to point out that the shift in tactics is what freed up Azza.

  6. I’ll third the Nile Ranger love. That kid looks like he could become something. Not his fault Joey Barton choked away a 3 on 2 break.

  7. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Bent looks really wrong in the Villa kit.

  8. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Why did we send Kyle Walker to Villa if he can’t even make the bench? We could use him back at Spurs.

  9. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Is it part of an announcer’s job to defend poor decisions by the ref?

  10. Outside Mid

    @ Orr: Rejoice! Billygoats w/an early 1-0 lead, Prince Poldi with the goal.

  11. Outside Mid

    And, Frings is still pants on corners.

  12. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Darren Bent!!!

  13. jgaugust

    Well. There ya go. Well played Mr. Bent.

  14. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Agbonlahor slips in Ashley Young, Hart parries, and Bent knocks in the rebound.

  15. jgaugust

    Villa. Park the bus. Park it and park it hard.

  16. Orr

    @OM – Up the Goats!

    Palermo being frustrated by Brescia, 0-0 at the half. Palermo have had 9 corners, hit the crossbar, and have forced several good saves from Arcari.

  17. Outside Mid

    Where are all the fans at Villa Park–just a little empty.

  18. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Kolarov whips in some seriously nasty corner kicks.

  19. Outside Mid

    Kolo Toure–kick it until you either hit ball or player; closing your eyes when you kick also helps

  20. Outside Mid

    It’s still odd to see Dzeko not in a Wolfsburg shirt.

  21. Goat

    Who scored for Villa?

  22. Outside Mid

    Downing cares not to bend it like Beckham

  23. Goat

    Nevermind–just saw the replay.

  24. Outside Mid

    Marin–seen him warm up more on the sidelines than play minutes for Werder. Yet, Silvestre starts. Mental.

  25. Goat

    Will Friedal have a couple frangos now that he’s bankrupt and susceptible to offers from shady Eastern Europeans.

  26. Outside Mid

    2-0 Koeln! Billygoats en fuego.

  27. Outside Mid

    Crowd in RheinEnergie is going nuts right now.

  28. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Dzeko has not really been impressive so far. Granted, City have been pretty mediocre so far so maybe it’s not all his fault.

  29. Outside Mid

    Ooh, nice work by Dzeko there.

  30. Lennon's Eyebrow

    Of course right as I say that Dzeko has his best moment of the game.

  31. Lennon's Eyebrow

    De Jong just got De Jong’d. Justice is served.

  32. Outside Mid

    Citeh’s idea just to lay off and watch when Dzeko has the ball? No movement off the ball by any other Citeh shaker.

  33. Orr

    Caracciolo smacks a wonderstrike off the bar, still 0-0 in Palermo

  34. Outside Mid

    @ Orr: Your German lads looking good–2-0 up, haven’t allowed Bremen to take a shot against Rensing for the entire 1st half.

  35. Lennon's Eyebrow

    @OM: When did Rensing leave Bayern?

  36. Outside Mid

    OK, two long and low shots on Hart–is that the way to beat him? Saw something similar in the Schalke match.

  37. Outside Mid

    @ LE: Out of contract in the summer, recently signed on a free w/Koeln, was out of a job before then.

  38. Ryan

    Sigh. So I got a job cleaning toilets on weekend mornings, started today. Judging by the scoreline, I might want to go back to the toilets.

  39. Orr

    I give the credit for Koeln’s recent successes to myself.
    Parma take a 2-0 lead over Catania on a goal from Giovinco, great to see the young Italian playing well.

  40. Konstantin

    OK, I missed this storyline of Bent becoming a Villa player. Saw his name in livescore and was very confused. How did this happen? When? Why did he want to? I truly feel left out.

  41. Precious Roy

    Konstantin: Lerner got scared they might go down. Villa opened up the wallet to double his wages, so he said so long to Steve Bruce. Think the whole thing went down in about 36 hours.

  42. Precious Roy

    Also, the South Korea v Iran match (AFC quarter) is in extra time at 0-0. Been decent stuff for the last 30 minutes. If you can find a stream, it’s worth dropping in on.

  43. ebullientfatalist

    Impressed with RvP today. His second goal clarified how important he and Cesc are to the team.

  44. Arkie

    @PR: indeed, both games today were alright. Iran up by 1. I don’t understand how certain Asian teams are decent in the region but fail on the world stage.

  45. Precious Roy

    Arkie: Am I watching the Bizarro feed? I’ve got South Korea up with about 10 minutes in the second extra period.

  46. Outside Mid

    Why with all its attacking players, Citeh’s shots are being taken by its defenders?

  47. arkie

    no: I’m just in bizarro commenting. I missed most of extra and I thought it was Iran. It’s hard to read the squiggles.

  48. Orr

    Palermo finally break through, Bovo with what looks to be the winner

  49. arkie

    Also, I really hope the Uzbeks can somehow make it into the finals. Uzbekistan vs. Australia is the battle of white guys playing in Asia. At least one is technically in Asia

  50. Precious Roy

    Bad day for the Axis of Evil.

  51. Arkie

    I think the USSR were the last bad guys to be good at sports.

  52. Outside Mid

    Think my brain is melting watching this Koeln match

  53. Outside Mid

    Looks like Dzeko has been playing out wide and crossing in–that going on the whole match? Not really what he’s good at. He’s supposed to be the guy on the other end of that cross.

  54. Precious Roy

    Hey, nice of the Arab (I presume) stream I have to go straight to the Barca game without me having to do anything… And it takes them all of 90 seconds to score.

  55. Arkie

    Barcelona are silly silly good, eh?

  56. Outside Mid

    Ooh, almost the equalizer by Flying Caveman

  57. Outside Mid

    Poldi with a brace, 3-0 Koeln. About the only thing interesting in this match. Gah

  58. Outside Mid

    Johnson’s going to find a way to get Citeh the equalizer

  59. Outside Mid

    That’s where Dzeko should be–on the back post heading the ball toward goal. Almost.

  60. Outside Mid

    Whelp, so much for that. Bent already paying dividends for Villa? Citeh lost, so yes.

  61. Ryan

    Well, screw soccer right in its pants. Congrats Keith on not getting relegated.

  62. Outside Mid

    @ Orr: Celebrate you Goats–easy 3-0 trot over Werder; however, it put St Pauli in relegation if it can’t score tomorrow. NOO!

  63. Outside Mid

    Ah, only 72% possession for Barca for the 1st half, so hit and miss that squad.

  64. Orr

    @OM – Perhaps going back down will solve all those identity problems St. Pauli have been having lately

  65. Orr

    Totti scores from the penalty spot, straight down the middle, 1-0 Roma

  66. Orr

    Questionable penalty

  67. Orr

    2-0 for Roma, Perotta pounces on a bad mistake by Cagliari’s keeper, doesn’t look like ther will be an upset

  68. Orr

    Menez finishes it off, 3-0, convincing from Roma despite all of Cagliari’s possession

  69. Having missed the last 35 minutes of the match, Fuck this game, how the hell do we not beat west ham, let alone concede 2 goals to them.

    Also no we do not want Pienaar back LE, there is a reason we robbed you guys blind by giving him to your for 3 mill.

  70. Hey fuckers. Liveblog will be happening above. And I’m in a bitter mood. enjoy.

  71. WhoNeedsForwards

    You missed yet another last gasp thrilling escape to a DRAW with an inferior team…Australia needs to lose ASAP!
    Anyways, Koln? Really? Koln? Also, why didn’t Moyesy sign Holtby when he had a chance to do so last year at around 8 mil…oh, right, money :(

  72. WhoNeedsForwards

    Also Freezing Cold? It was like 55 and sunny here today…

  73. LE: To answer your question, Walker had a back injury yesterday; he had started both Villa matches prior.


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