Unprofessional Foul


January 31, 2011

Mid-Transfer Deadline Day Hollering

Hope Carroll likes prog rock

Just a few hours to go now and, having read everything from the silliest speculation to the silliest fact, I’ve managed to boil down the hooting and hollering to a few half-cohesive sentences. One for each club’s fans:

United: (smirk) (wink) Happy to see that Charlie Adam staying put. Good for the sport. (orders United #38 “Adam” shirt) (Calls up kit shop for exchange..)

City: What’re you looking at? We pay deadline-hour prices all year round. Just another day…

Arsenal: But Père, j’veux un nouveau toy.

Non! You can play with your Squillaci when he’s back from the shop!

Liverpool: I hate that we’ve spent all this money. Bad us! Bad us! No, I do NOT want Charlie Adam, too! Oh, what, he’s on his way for a physical? Oh, we are so baaad.

Spurs: Please Arry, please sign another lightweight lefty midfielder. We only have seven and that’s no way to compete with the big boys. Pederson from Blackburn! Sign him up!

Seriously. Not even a rumor? Striker and CDM. A blind man could see. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR???

Newcastle: Clears the way for… Ameobi!

Villa: Boyo, we got Daz Bent on the cheap.

Who am I forgetting?

About the Author

The Likely Lad



  1. @JT” ’round the clock monitoring of Darren Bent’s Twitter account.

  2. James T

    Losing Adam sucks, but adding Ashley would be sweet.

  3. Lennon's Eyebrow

    After watching this shit all day, if I don’t get home from work later and find out we’ve signed a striker, I might cry.

  4. knocsucow00

    Okay Harry, just go buy a young RB, then immediately loan him out to a championship team to close the window. You know you wanna.

  5. Precious Roy

    Gilles Sunu goes out on loan… Jesus, that leaves like six kids on the reserves.

  6. FSC says Blackpool was offered $16 mil for Adam, and demanded $22.5.

  7. You’ve got one hour to unass this situation, ‘Arry.

  8. Precious Roy

    You’ve got Crouch, Defoe and Pavs in a market where proven strikers are fetching a premium. Who can you possibly get for less than, oh, 30M that would make you significantly better?

  9. Outside Mid

    @ PR: I would have been happy if a move had been made for Helmes; in the times he’s worked with Kiessling @ Leverkusen, he’s benefited from the Big Man to hold up play and knock the ball around the box prior to him poaching one.

  10. @PR: that’s certainly the lay of land. Once Bent went for 24 mil, we were out of the running.

    Word is GDS will be loaned to Racing Santander.

  11. Precious Roy

    Just saying… I’d rather have my club do nothing than make an expensive risky signing that barely make us marginally better.

    Then again, I’m used to my club doing nothing.

  12. Dan V

    Wolves brought in new keeper today… Whats happenning with Marcus Henneman??? anyone???

  13. Ives tweets that a CD9 loan move is in the works. I really like seeing all this activity around USMNT players.

  14. Precious Roy

    Dan V: He lost his number 1 status a few weeks ago.

  15. @PR: That’s where I’ve been for a few days now. Sometimes you just have to sit tight and play the hand you’re dealt.

  16. JT: I’ve heard from very reliable sources that Ashley Young has never been for sale this window, and that Liverpool’s asking would be met with more polite versions of “fuck off.”

  17. Mountain WAG

    CONFIRMED: Eidur Gudjohnsen to Fulham and Giovani Dos Santos to Racing Santander. Neither to Spurs.

  18. Also, Phil: That is indeed awesome.

  19. Outside Mid

    Ah, the beauty of transfer day: made me remember Eidur Gudjohnsen is still alive

  20. James T

    I’ve heard from similarly reliable sources that everyone has a price.

  21. Outside Mid

    Final reports indicate Spurs trying to get Adam. Wonder if the fax went through?

  22. James T

    Ha ha ha ha!
    11.05pm: Tottenham’s bid for Charlie Adam came too late. He’s staying at Blackpool. Daniel Levy, you left it too long this time.

  23. Precious Roy

    Because if Spuds needed anything, it was another midfielder. I’m guessing they called Blackppol at 11:01 just to get some free run in the press and trump people that made deals.

  24. Outside Mid

    Honestly, not sure why he’d go after Adam anyway. Given today’s proceedings, this summer’s Bale sweepstakes should be nauseating.

  25. Outside Mid

    I’m guessing future formations will be a variant of 4-6-0 for Tottenham as Spurs seem to have entered the past 2 windows possibly needing a striker but looking at midfielders; perhaps Guardian’s right–Adam would have been insurance for the loss of Modders this summer.

  26. Outside Mid

    Which means Niko is nowhere in the reckoning going forward–why wasn’t he shopped out then? Turned down Werder I think, but something could have been made of that.

  27. Wedel

    My guess is that Raul submitted the Spurs bid for Adam via Mippin.

  28. Goat

    I thought this was funny. From the Fiver:
    “Which even for The Emperor’s New Premier League seems utterly bizarre – especially as Carroll, who was apparently offered to West Ham for £1m in 2009, has had just one decent half-season in the Premier League (11 goals in 20 matches, a slightly worse rate of return than Amr Zaki’s 11 goals in 19 matches for Wigan in 2008).”

  29. Pete

    Mippin is always the problem.

  30. Lennon's Eyebrow

    @Goat: That’s not really a fair comparison. Amr Zaki got to play alongside the mighty Emile Heskey.
    Fuck today.

  31. There are some that call me... Tim?

    Sure Spurs needed to sign a striker, but were any of their targets really the answer? Carroll at 20 mil maybe, but it’s obvious now that was never going to happen.

  32. Ryan

    I think the answer can only be relative to the question. In this case, the question is, “How farking terrible is Peter Crouch?” And I think the answer is, “Very.”
    So Forlan for whatever number is being tossed about (13m or so I think) would have been good in my opinion. Ditto for Rossi.

  33. Ryan

    Hey Keith, can Bradley play tomorrow?

  34. ebullientfatalist

    Nando to Spartak. Andy to ‘Pool. Luiz to Spartak. Luis to ‘Pool. What the hell is this?

  35. bergkampesdios

    PR – sorry, back late to the party, but that’s the only way you can justify it. You have to assume Torres is washed up. It’s the McNabb corollary – you don’t sell a starting quarterback in division unless you are certain he is tits up. Same goes for Torres – if you assume he has anything left, it’s a bad deal. You just helped one of your biggest competitors when they were basically on the ropes. Fine if you know he’s on the wane, but I don’t buy it. I still think he has 3-4 more good years in him.

  36. Precious Roy

    berg: You can justify it simply by the fact that you’re getting 2.5x what you paid for him and his value might never be higher. Even if he’s got a couple of more years left, a 150% return is still good business.

    The calculation does get a little trickier when you have to figure out if Torres would have been more valuable than his replacement in terms of things like trophies or helping the club get back to the CL. That’s complicated even more by the fact that it’s not like there’s a 1-to-1 correspondence between Torres and his replacement (is it Suarez, is it Carroll?).

    I have no problem with Pool selling Torres (but FFS, could you sell him someplace else?), I’m just not sure I’m a fan of most of that going to Carroll. Now Carroll might turn out to be really good. He also might turn out to be totally mediocre. He’s got 14 goals in 36 Newcastle Premier League appearances. That’s totally decent. But is it £35M?

  37. bergkampesdios

    PR – I don’t dispute that 50mm is a good price and great return. Where I think it falls apart is where your math gets tricky. It’s not just his relative value to the club with CL/trophies, it’s that you’re simultaneously helping a competitor achieve those things instead of you.
    Selling him at 50mm = great idea.
    Selling him to Chelsea = jury’s out.

  38. Precious Roy

    That bothers you (and me) but maybe not John Henry. Remember when the Red Sox wouldn’t budge off their 3-year offer for Johnny Damon, they pretty much knew that they were sending him to the Yankees, a division rival (and their biggest rival) who had a 4 or 5 year offer on the table. Granted it wasn’t a sale or a trade, but seems that Henry is more about doing what’s best for his clubs and not what’s best for his clubs with a sliding scale depending on what it does to clubs they’re competing with.

  39. WhoNeedsForwards

    Clearly, Apostolos Vellios is going to be the signing of the year. Some days, it’s really annoying to be a fan of a poorer club :(

  40. @Ryan: Baby Bradley will not be in the squad today against United. His signing was announced after the squad submission deadline for today’s tilt. They’re pushing his work permit through so he’s eligible for Fulham on Saturday, though.


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