The FIFA/UEFA Money Train Hits A Crack In The Track

"Ah, sh*t."

It’s not often that I get to combine references to Woody Harrelson/Wesley Snipes buddy pics and titles of Thomas the Tank Engine books, but when one arises, I have to take it.

The beauty of the World Cup isn’t just the orgy of soccer it rains upon our parched eyes; for FIFA and its business buddies, there’s also an awful lot of money to be milked from its very existence.

Since Sepp Blatter and Joao Havelange exchanged vows (and power chairs) in the 1990s, the World Cup, along with just about any other big, high-faluting soccer tournament, has slowly shifted from a generous continental rights-sale plan to something more focused and more sinister. Sepp’s part in that has been to bring these deals to the micro level, selling off rights in portions to each hungry nation eager to bring a piece back to its people. A bit like the golden ticket hunt by poor Charlie, TV conglomerates and ISPs then wrestle for their shiny pass to the big game, and Sepp scoops up the loose change when it’s all said and done.

However, Sepp’s manipulation of the free market hit a roadbump on Thursday, when a European Union court rejected a FIFA/UEFA claim against a ruling that such tournaments must be guaranteed for free-to-air television under their purview. As such, Blatter can’t run, begging cap in hand, to all the super-powered pay-TV outlets in the UK and Belgium (bizarrely, only those nations are covered under this ruling) in order to extract the best deal for his organization. Undoubtedly he’ll still rake in coin like a Vegas croupier at 3am on a Sunday morning, but slightly less than he’d like.

However, it’s also worth noting that the ruling gives all EU member states the freedom to draw up a list of “sports events of national interest” that could be similarly protected.

This is good for the average fan, knowing that these big tournaments are preserved—and even described beautifully as “crown jewel” events out of respect for their value to the public—in big domestic TV markets so that everyone’s not forced to pony up for bigger subscriptions and cable packages just to get a hefty world soccer fix.

Granted, in the USA we were given the bulk of games on the ESPN family of networks, with big games held for ABC, though ESPN’s ubiquity as part of “basic cable” makes such pay-TV worries a relatively moot point. That and we all siphoned from the free Univision internet feeds at our office desks anyway.

FIFA’s plan involved holding those marquee games, presumably involving home nations, for free TV while less consequential games could be auctioned off to the highest bidder. For one, that’s just absurd; as the court rightly argued, it’s impossible to determine matters of consequence before the tournament kicks into gear, at which time it’s a logistical nightmare to start shuffling games back-and-forth between, say, Sky and the BBC. It might not hamstring Sky from cherry-picking the best EPL games and moving them around to fit their TV schedules, but considering that they own the lion’s share of league broadcasting rights, it’s a different proposition entirely.

Secondly, FIFA’s idiocy is alarming to even me, a longtime cynic and boo-boy: hey guys, why not hold Honduras v. Slovenia for a pay-TV circuit? That’ll have people rushing to push the pay-per-view button! If we ever needed further proof of their sole commitment to currency over the content of their intellectual properties, here it is in plain view.

And so, the corpulent coterie of Swiss lawyers must trudge back to FIFA HQ, dejected in their failed quest to extract even more coin from that which already rakes in over a billion dollars according to FIFA’s 2009 financial reports (that’s a PDF link, folks).

At least they’ll still make a killing. Just slightly less of a one than they’d hoped for.