Unprofessional Foul


May 31, 2011

Paul Scholes Announces His Retirement

Manchester United midfielder Paul Scholes has announced his retirement.  It was not unexpected as Scholes’ ability to keep pace and influence a match had significantly waned in the last two seasons.  His tackles instead a beat late were now two beats late.  His passing was still sublime but he could be harried off the ball much easier. 

But, he will live on because all late tackles will forever be known as Scholes. 

The former England international will assume a coaching role at the only club he has known.   He will also be granted a testimonial in August.

About the Author

The Fan's Attic


  1. Goat

    I can only assume that, in tribute to Scholes, everyone is going to post their comments late.

  2. EllisCarver

    Makelelelelelelelelelele is gone too.

  3. @Goat, I was typing my comment, but the moderator showed me a red card and I had to leave the site

  4. an oldie but certainly appropriate for a Scholes post.

  5. @Goat: I was waiting for the ball to show up in another post before I committed to hit “send”

  6. paul scholes is best in man utd

  7. Wedel

    I love the guy. He had the MUFC website put up the announcement after he left for vakay. I’ll not gush (too much), but here’s a couple quick quotes from the Grauniad:
    Eriksson may have preferred Steven Gerrard and Frank Lampard in his central midfield but Scholes’s importance was recognised throughout Europe. Zidane once proclaimed the source of 150 United goals as his toughest opponent. “Scholes is undoubtedly the greatest midfielder of his generation,” he said.
    Xavi, the Barcelona midfielder who helped to ensure Scholes’s career ended on a low at Wembley, labelled him “the best central midfielder I’ve seen in the last 15, 20 years”.
    Closer to home Charlton, a former team-mate of Duncan Edwards, George Best and Denis Law, said: “In so many ways Scholes is my favourite.”
    Paul Scholes. He scores goals. He scores goals galore.
    Gonna miss you, Scholesy.

  8. WhoNeedsForwards

    Paul Scholes: DeJonging people before it was cool.

  9. MP

    (copy and paste Wedel’s comment here). Is it just me or is it really dusty in here?
    /blinks repeatedly and looks out window for a few seconds

  10. bergkampesdios

    F*ck you Wedel.
    Used to coach high school. Went to various coaching conventions. At one in particular, the team psychiatrist for manu was a speaker. He talked about a time when Scholes had a shit training session and SAF challenged him to crossbar at the end of the session. They traded near misses for a while from outside 18 before the fat drunk drilled it. He spun, finger in the air and yelled at the psych that scholes needed a pillow and some comforting.
    The psych approached scholes and asked if anything was bothering him. Scholes proceeded to stare daggers at the psych, struck a ball with his left foot that drilled the bar, struck another ball within a step that with his right that also drilled the bar, looked at the psych and said he was fine and walked away.
    /having said all that he is unequivocally the worst tackler ever. EVER.

  11. Wedel

    Hey Bergs, a giant bag of f*ucks for you this morning – enjoy!
    @MP: Very, very dusty.
    /yes, dammit, it’s just the dust.
    //I swear.
    I know it has become fashionable to knock Scholes’ tackling (especially on these fine, third-rate pages). Given the love that abounds for United here, I typically just ignore it. But today, I’d like to share my undoubtedly blinkered perspective: I think what you mean is he’s the worst-tackler-for-the-awesomest-player-evar. I’ll submit that the viewing populace is more shocked at the juxtaposition of the tackling and the otherworldly rest of his skills than it is about his tackling, in and of itself. The very same midfield maestros who sing his praises are the ones who would have been on the end of Scholes’ tackles and yet nary a peep from them, just from the fans of opposing teams. (Also, for the record, I am not aware of any true DeJongs – hurting people, breaking legs – just poorly timed challenges, curable by magic spray alone.)
    tl;dr — Scholes’ awesomeness weighs him down and sometimes causes him to make a poor challenge.

  12. bergkampesdios

    Wedel – true enough. I don’t think anyone would claim that he was a Shawcross or Henry type of tackler. They are malicious and should be castrated. Although prone to cynicism, he really was just technically terrible at tackling. So late and awkward half the time. It definitely was the juxtaposition with his play that makes it stand out so much – like the mole on Cindy Crawford or something.

  13. Wedel

    Mmmm, Cindy Crawford. Lambo, shorts, tank-top … I don’t even like Pepsi and I wanted her, I mean, a Pepsi.
    Yeah, I’ll admit, he made me cringe on occasion as well. Some of them were laughably bad. The cynical stuff is more recent I think, as he slowed down. I don’t recall so much of that when he was younger. Also, I can attest personally that there is some element of truth in the gingers are hotheads stereotype. I’m just glad I can point out that no one was really hurt and the “tackling” becomes a head-scratching counterpoint to the rest of him.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>