Unprofessional Foul


June 24, 2011

Being Joe Colekovich—The Joe Cole Selling Brochure

Joe Cole is excited to discuss career opportunities with you.

Man, the weirdest things happen in soccer, don’t they? Guys like Zlatan Ibrahimovic win more trophies than God, while potential-filled never-quites like Joe Cole linger and proverbially kick proverbial tin cans down proverbial cobbled streets. Like I said, weird.

But Mr. Cole, weak and precious as he is, should have no fear as he stares down the barrel of his future gloom. He might get to hang around Anfield a while longer, but, if that dream does not come to pass, he’ll need a nice, glossy brochure that speaks to his brand value. So we’ve gone ahead and done that, with several cap doffs aimed at Arseblog for his Emmanuel Adebrochure, and of course, the hilariously actually real pamphlet that Michael Owen’s handlers foisted upon various clubs a couple of summers back.

Joe Cole might need more than a little sharp slang, though. But we think we’ve done the trick.

Enjoy Joe Cole’s dossier here. And do note that if Joe Cole does manage to conjure himself a new gig from the smoldering ashes of his current employ, it’s because of our Cole magazine. Voila! Warning: it is a PDF. But you figured that out already.


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About the Author

James T