That field is a serious liability.
After a bit of burnout from three years straight of soccer (Euro 2008, 2008-09 season, Confederations Cup 2009, 2009-10 season, World Cup 2010, 2010-11 season), there was a nice respite this summer from intense soccer. The Women’s World Cup provided a bit of rejuvenation to the soccer soul, but it is time for the new season start. And, UF is ready for it with its annual EPL season preview.
This year is a different kind of preview where UF waxes poetic about the teams. This being a third-rate blog, we decided on short poems. Haikus to be exact. Three lines, seventeen syllables, five-seven-five. Perfect for UF and if you want to participate put your own haikus in the comments for the day’s teams. We may republish the best ones after all the previews are complete.
On to today’s previews…Tottenham, West Bromwich Albion, Wigan, and Wolverhampton.
Tottenham Hotspur
A cock on the crest
Want-away Luka a dick
Spurs come up flaccid
–The NY Kid
UF final table position prediction: Sixth
West Bromwich Albion
Shaky defending
Foster is the keeper now
Woy rubs face ablaze
–Outside Mid
UF final table position prediction: Sixteenth
Wigan Athletic
Insomnia gone
Sleep with N-power next year
Lumpy pitch still sucks
–The Fan’s Attic
UF final table position prediction: Seventeenth
Wolverhampton Wanderers
No helpful transfers
A surly Mick at the helm
Yep, relegated
–The Stretford End
UF final table position prediction: Nineteenth
Wigan:
I say “Mar-teen-ez”
Brits insist on “Martin-ez”
Who cares? Wigan down.
Dear Mr. Levy,
To Chelsea I please go now
No like chicken badge
@Dre: It’s not just the Brits–I just got back from my wife’s hometown of Martin-ez Georgia (just outside of Augusta).
@Goat: I’m truly sorry.
Clearly NYK had penis on the brain when he wrote the haiku. Perhaps he was being teabagged.
Jamie O’Hara
Proved himself pretty useful
C’mon Stretford End