Unprofessional Foul
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January 9, 2012
 

Oh, The Places We’ll Go!

I want to go where she's going.

Remember Dr. Seuss’ “Oh, The Places You’ll Go?” Well, it seems that story is always popping up at strange milestones in life: graduations, births, weddings, and funerals (well, that particular version was pretty short, it just said “TO HELL“, but I digress).

Today is a UF milestone, and we put together an abbreviated 3rd rate version of the Dr. Seuss classic to send us on our way.

Oh, The Places We’ll Go!

Congratulations!
Today is our day.
We’re off to Great Places!
No Fergie Time in our way.

We have brains in our head.
We have mud on our boots.
We can pick a starting XI
That’ll do more than just ‘hoof’.

When you’re on your own, you know what you know.
(You know of the site addresses where you still shouldn’t go.)

Surf blog upon blog. Look ‘em over with care.
About some you will say, “Hell no, I won’t go there.”
With your head full of brains and boots covered in mud,
You’re too smart to read anything by that EPL Talk dud.

And you may not find any
In which you want to partake.
In that case, of course,
You should go and eat cake.

It’s a comfort food,
So think of us during.
Know that we’ll miss you,
Our heartstrings are stirring.

OH! THE PLACES WE’LL GO!

We’ll get our lives back!
NYK’ll go out on a date!
We’ll stop being hacks
Who stay up too late.

Precious Roy won’t lag behind, because he has speed.
Just the physical kind, not any laced in his weed.
JamesT’s moving up, with the best of the best.
The Likely Lad’ll hang out, with the rest of the rest.

Just know we will miss you.
Even Stretford’ll be blue.
I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true.
All our time hang-ups will now affect you.

There could soon come a day when games are not covered.
The lights will be on, but the doors will be shuttered.
Recall fondly the place, which noticed how wide,
Garreth Bale’s dong is; he never did try to hide
!

Still, come back and visit. Let the memories continue.
But keep a watchful eye out, we’ll still slip a jibe in you.
Simple it’s not, this time you will find,
For any of us to make up our minds.

Yes, in the future,
we’ll be together, of course,
Already setting in
is lovers remorse.

We’re NTKOP
to post wit and run.
We know Johnny Evans would,
but HE’S unprofessional, son!

A last bit of advice, here’s another UF fact:
Life’s just a complicated balancing act.
Try not to forget to be dexterous and deft.
And never mix up your right foot with your left. (Ahem, Theo!)

So…
be your name Berba or Barton or Gray
or Sir Moriarty Alex Ferguson O’Shea,
We’re off to Great Places!
Go suck it, Barclays!

For the record, these are the 'Great Places' to where UF heads…

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Mountain Wag