Unprofessional Foul


December 23, 2015

The Good, The Bad, The WTF

Let’s not kid ourselves. We don’t really get to do these anymore. As such, I am dispensing with any notion that we might present a “good” or “bad” here and going straight to the WTF. That is what you want, right?

Actually, I don’t care. Here we go.

Welcome to Unprofessional Foul’s new venture, the online restaurant. I hope you took the time to visit our affiliated bar (The Centennial in Nashville, TN) before coming in. As you can see we are a classy joint, which is why I am wearing a tuxedo shirt to serve you.

Oh, is black tie too classy/not classy enough for you? Well let me just switch to the white tie version.

As you may have been able to tell, Hummel shopped this kit to at least two different teams, Cultural Leonesa is in Spain and V-Varen Nagaski in Japan. Both kits were presented as anniversary themed with Leonesa celebrating 90 years and Nagasaki celebrating 10. The black is for the field players while white is the keeper kit. The Spanish side did wear theirs in a special tournament but I can find no images of Nagasaki wearing theirs. They did, however, recently wear an anniversary kit–this one that celebrates the 70th anniversary of the city’s nuclear bombing. For some reason, it doesn’t have Godzilla on it.

Now that you have settled in a little bit, can I bring you a beer? No, we don’t have a list, we just have one. I’ll go fetch that.

This is from Galician club CD Lugo. I’m guessing that the beer featured on the shirt is the same as the sponsor, Estrella Galicia. Galicia, of course (as I just found out) is a part of Spain. Specifically, the part directly north of Portugal. Weird kits are just a part of Spanish culture, I guess.

But let’s move on, I’m going to bring you your appetizer shortly. Actually, it might take a little time. It’s calamari, but it still needs to be prepared. See, it’s right here.

Weirdly, this is the change kit for CD Lugo’s above effort. Galicia has a lot of coastline on the Atlantic Ocean and octopus is said to be a local delicacy. That’s all well and fine, but how do you cheer the team by color? Come on you Amber Ales? Let’s go sucker arms? I have no idea.

Alright, it’s time for your entree. No, you don’t have a choice. For dinner you will have ham and broccoli. Here.

Woah. That was curt of me. I guess I was flashing back to the bad old days of waiting tables. I apologize. Please don’t dock my tip. Anyway, here we have two kits from, wait for it, Spanish clubs. I really have no idea what they’re doing over there.

The ham shirt is from CD Guiluelo. Thankfully (for the home fans) it is their current away shirt. They have famous ham in Guijuelo and this is the result. Truly, though, it’s better in full kit form.

The broccoli is courtesy of La Hoya Lorca in Spain’s third division. It is also their away shirt. I would say the best part of the shirt is the sponsorship saying “we need water”, but zoom in and look at the badge on the left side of the shirt (as pictured). It would appear that the manufacturer is represented by a broccoli stalk playing soccer. That’s fabulous.

As we begin to wind down our night, our thoughts turn to dessert. As you should have known by now, we have a limited menu. No, we have no after dinner drinks. No, we have no ice cream or brownies or cheesecake. What we have is an infamous bruised banana, courtesy of the worst kit of all time. Enjoy.

About the Author