Unprofessional Foul

Featured Fouls

diez All


Holy cow, it’s here. This is it. Today. It’s for all the marbles. And who doesn’t want all of the marbles? Nobody. Or at least nobody who isn’t Argentinian or German. It’s Messi’s date with destiny. That’s the narrative. AND HOW DARE THE GERMANS TRY TO RUN COUNTER TO THE NARRATIVE? THE NARRATIVE IS ALL […]

Robben: AAAAAAAHH!!!!

Messi: OOOOOOHH!!!! All

Semifinal BOOTROOM: The Day of The Day After

You wanted more goals in the knockout rounds. Are you not entertained!? Wow that was an outburst by Germany yesterday. Today the Netherlands and Argentina hope to put on a show of their own but only one can march forward to face the Germans on Sunday.

Disclaimer: Not affiliated with GM in any way. All

Semifinal BOOTROOM: Day One – Back to 2002

Would be way better if it was day TWO, back to 2002. Anyways, our first semifinal features the two countries that met in the final back in that glorious year when Nelly and Celine Dion topped the charts. It’s Germany v. Brazil, here in the Bootroom (sponsored by CHEVROLET) CHEVROLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


US v. Belgium Bootroom: Because We’re Too Nervous To Liveblog

No frills today. GET THE FUCK IN HERE AND COMMENT IT UP!!!! And did you SEE the crowd at Soldier Field?! The lineups are interesting. No Altidore OR Beckerman. Gulp. Enjoy! Belgium: Courtois, Alderweireld, Kompany (c), Vertonghen, Witsel, De Bruyne, Fellaini, Hazard, Mertens, Van Buyten, Origi. USMNT: Howard; Johnson, González, Besler, Beasley; Cameron, Jones; Bedoya, Bradley, Zusi; […]

You're ruining your own selfie. All

Round of 16 Liveblog: Argentina v. Switzerland

You’re at work. I’m at home. I guess I kind of owe this to you don’t I? We’ll have a bootroom up for the USMNT match (no one will be working during that right?) but I’ll be parked on my couch to guide you through Messi’s continued coronation march. That or a pretty major upset.

More women should put Titi on their faces Liveblogs

Day 18 Bootroom: We Atone For Our Sins

If there’s anything you should know about us, it’s that we’re all about the Decalogue. So we’re not about to not keep holy the Sabbath. Well that’s what we’d try to pass off as our excuse for not getting a Bootroom up yesterday if we were liars. But, again, Commandments. I think we were clear […]

Can you feel the intensity? All

Day 16 BOOTROOM: Day 1 of the Round of 16 of World Cup 2014

Loyal UF readers know this is a blog that has always been about the numbers, a real data-driven endeavor. We’ve long made it our mission to back up our wit and pithy analysis with cold, hard statistics. Or pictures of WAGs. Whatever works!

belgium fans 1 All

DAY 15 BOOTROOM: Group H – Who Will USA Play Next?

Honestly, I don’t really care too much about this afternoon’s matches.  Not because I don’t really care, I’m just emotionally exhausted from this morning’s USA-GER match.  USA is through to the knockout stages.  That’s all that matters for me.  The opponent will be whoever it will be the winner of Group H…Belgium, Algeria…doesn’t really matter.  The […]

Your dog ate your homework. All

U.S. v. Germany Liveblog: Hashtag LET’S DO THIS

OK, people. This is the day we’ve all been waiting for. No, not the soccer game. It’s New York Kid’s birthday. And it’s a big one. But enough about that. Today is the day we’ve been dreading/waiting for for more than six months. USMNT v. Germany. Die Mannschaft against Die Klinsmannschaft. Are you actually going […]

I need some first aid! All

DAY 14 BOOTROOM: The Day Before The Day We All Care About

Being a zombie website is fun. We have literally no expectations, so getting 500-1,500 views per day doesn’t bother us. We had a discussion on the e-mail thread the other day about how we failed (or sabotaged ourselves) in the monetization phase, mostly because I think we’re all really hipsters at heart. Anyway, Orr’s new […]

buffonwife All

Day 13 Bootroom: Unlucky for Italy or Uruguay

It’s a battle royale of two former champions. Two teams enter, one team goes on. England isn’t one of those teams. They go home regardless. But in the early games Italy take on Uruguay, and with Costa Rica already assured passage to the knock-outs, that leaves room for only one of two countries that have […]

401_Rip Out My Heart_Jackie All

Bootroom Day Whatever: Still Attempting to Un-Crush Our Souls

I don’t know how to recover from yesterday. I feel like we need a national mourning period. In the abstract, we’re still in good shape with 4 points. In reality the likely scenarios, given our group opponents, are not a font of optimism. We were maybe 15 seconds away. And that it was Cristiano Ronaldo […]

Her flag is backwards. Bet you didn't notice. All

DAY 11 BOOTROOM: Do YOU Believe That We Will Win?

Better late than never right? What do you expect from a third-rate zombie blog? The World Cup rolls on with Group H action followed tonight by a pretty straightforward proposition for the USMNT. Win and they are into the knockout rounds.

Football loves you. All

DAY 10 BOOTROOM: Safe for Weekend Edition

Can you believe it has only been ten days? We’ve reached just the second weekend of the tournament and already we’ve had what seems like a whole World Cup full of goals, upsets, and excitement. And bewbz. Don’t forget those. Day ten features three matches that appear pretty clear-cut on paper. But, in a tournament […]

Mario All

DAY 9 BOOTROOM: In Which England Roots For Italy

It’s about perfect that nobody watched or cared about the Japan-Greece match last night. Clearly, the UF audience knows that, when Greece plays, it ain’t gonna be the beautiful game. Today should help make up for that abomination. Italy v. Costa Rica, noon EDT, ESPN All you need to know about this match is this… […]

Will Kagawa and Co. Have More Success Than the Vapors? All

DAY 8 BOOTROOM: The Safe For Work Version Part II Electric Greece-Are-Poo

Not a lot to say on this one. Even with the opening game loss, just a draw against Japan keeps Greece very much alive. One point here and a win against Cote d’Ivoire and they’d be through (assuming Colombia don’t lose to Japan… and that’s probably not a safe assumption because nothing in Brazil is). […]

No wonder that empire crumbled. All

World Cup Liveblog: Uruguay v. England

Still a whole lot to play for in Group D (also known as Italy’s group). England fans will have been disappointed by the result against Italy in their opener in the jungle, but many were encouraged by the early attacking impetus shown by the Three Lions before they succumbed to Pirlo, Balo, and the Amazon […]


Wonder if  that donkey has a brown eye.

Saturday Bootroom: FA Cup Interrugnum

Posted  January 7, 2012  by  The Fan's Attic

After the manic holiday season in the English Premier League (Suck it, Barclays) that saw clubs play five matches in two weeks we now get the FA Cup Interrugnum. This is simply another good time for Arsenal players to get injured or maybe see Andy Carroll score a rare goal. Oh wait, that last thing […]

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"I said something meaningful? Who knew?"

The Wisdom of Kenny Shiels

Posted  January 6, 2012  by  Outside Mid

Sounds a bit oxymoronic, right? Considering how the Northern Irishman–who currently manages Kilmarnock–will watch his club’s haggis get handed to them on the pitch and sound like The Special One theorizing on his winning philosophy, normal conditions would suggest “wisdom” and Kenny Shiels are as compatible as oil and water. Something he said around in […]

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Hot-blooded Inter fans don't care about Wesley, as long as Mrs. Sneijder sticks around.

Serie A Matchday Preview: Goin’ Old School

Posted  January 6, 2012  by  Orr

Serie A returns and with it, I return to my roots. OK, so I’ve only been doing these previews for a little over a year, but it seems like a long time since I produced a post with quick hits and predictions on all of the top flight calcio action in the given week. And so, […]

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Another sterling example of "Barton Think."

Barton Think

Posted  January 6, 2012  by  The Fan's Attic

Another New Year treat with a return of the Ned. A glorious if somewhat brief return. It is a good Ned special too. You all should enjoy it. Footballers have a reputation for being, well let’s just say, not the smartest guys. I get that, they choose football over focus on education, and, especially, over […]

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This is the best team photo for the "mid-level" club Senator James could provide.

Possible Corruption Leads To Government Sponsorship Of Amateur Soccer Club

Posted  January 6, 2012  by  The Fan's Attic

In July 2010, the U.S. Virgin Islands introduced a unique marketing and tourism endeavor for the islands when it was announced the U.S. territory would begin sponsoring the local soccer club in Montescudaio, Italy this September with a $50,000 appropriation.  The Italian municipality in Tuscany is a sister city to the three main cities in […]

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