Moles Not Allowed to Shop at Harrods

Only applies to Ukrainian football clubs.

Fulham play their Europa League tie against Shakhtar Donetsk today, and it appears that the Ukrainian club have a little more motivation to earn the victory after some shenanigans on Tuesday. According to news reports, the Moles attempted to visit Harrods in Knightsbridge after training to do a little shopping for their family. After all, Ukrainian club sides rarely get the chance to visit London.

However, they may have failed to realize that Harrods is owned by Mohamed Al-Fayed, who’s also the owner of Fulham FC. Their mistake was made clear when they were denied entry to the store, with staff claiming that their group was “too large and suspicious.”

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The Good, The Bad, The WTF

Let’s just get three things out of the way. One, Shakhtar Donetsk shirts are not the easiest things to find on the net. Two, if the Ukrainian club were not in today’s UEFA Cup final, this shirt would merit no attention at this time. Maybe, down the road, when we hit week number 482 of this column, it would fit, but now is not the time. Oh well. And three, Shakhtar’s opponent, Werder Bremen, has a whole host of shirts that I could use here, but I did them once already. And I only use the repeat offenders tag for clubs that truly deserve it.

Anyway, let’s go take a look at a recent ugly, but not horrible, shirt from the team that, half an hour before kickoff, I am declaring UEFA Cup champions.


Okay, so orange and black aren’t the most inspired choices to put together. Look how well it has worked for the Cleveland Browns, you know? But this shirt isn’t really bad, it’s merely unpleasant. The big problem is that the shirt colors, and these are their normal colors, are nothing like the badge. You look at that badge and you see a more reddish orange, black and green. Why change the orange for the shirt? It makes no sense.

And about that badge. The badge on the shirt is significantly different than the one we put up in the UEFA Cup open thread immediately preceding this post. If this shirt is only from 2007 (which it is), then why the big change there? Apparently the big pull was to get the crossed hammers back onto the crest after 30 years of absence. Couldn’t tell you why, but last year, Shakhtar made the switch. The new crest, at least, drops the green field, though the oranges still differ between the badge and the shirt. My favorite part about the badge change is the change in spelling. I know that it’s in Cyrillic, but I have to wonder why the spelling changed from “WAXMEP” to “WAXTAP”

Obviously, it’s a little hard to work up some vitriol for a relatively benign shirt. This is one of those that resides in the Bad camp, but only just. Next week, I promise, we’ll return to WTF territory.

UEFA Cup’s final Final Open Thread

European Silverware day! While not as glamorous as nest week’s Champions League Final between Manchester United and Barcelona, this is guaranteed to be a historic finale. Yes, friends, today we see the last UEFA Cup Final ever. Germany’s Werder Bremen and Ukraine’s Shakhtar Donetsk will put it all on the line to see which team becomes the historical footnote/trivia answer. Or not. That’s the beauty of the game. You can never tell how it will be played until the match is in motion.

Shakhtar and Bremen both benefited from entering the competition at the knockout stage after being dumped from Champions League play. That’s not a bad parachute to have if you can ride it to the final. Inside, we’ll hit on lineups and both teams road through the competition. In case that’s not enough for you, you can go look back at Werder’s entry into The Good, The Bad, The WTF, and know that Shakhtar will get added in after the match. Will they be secondary champions of Europe at the time? Hell for all I know, it will still be in PKs when that post goes live.

Shakhtar Donetsk

Round of 32: Tottenham Hotspur 3-1
Round of 16: CSKA Moscow 2-1
Quarterfinals: Olympique Marseille 4-1
Semifinals: Dynamo Kyiv 3-2

Today’s lineup:
Pyatov, Kucher, Fernandinho, Jadson, Ilsinho, Luiz Adriano, Lewandowksi, William, Rat, Chygrynskiy, Srna.
Subs: Khudzhamov, Duljaj, Gai, Gladkiy, Ischenko, Chyzhov, Moreno.

Werder Bremen

Round of 32: AC Milan 3-3 (away goals)
Round of 16: Saint Etienne 3-2
Quarterfinals: Udinese 6-4
Semifinals: Hamburg 3-3 (away goals)

Today’s lineup:
Wiese, Boenisch, Naldo, Baumann, Fritz, Rosenberg, Ozil, Prodl, Frings, Pizarro, Niemeyer.
Subs: Vander, Pasanen, Tosic, Vranjes, Hunt, Tziolis, Harnik.

No away goals to save the Germans tonight. Let’s hope for lots of action and just a few goals, shall we?